How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
