i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
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