i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
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