I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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