Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
