this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm sobbing to NWA
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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