Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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