you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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