I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
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