Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i will never coherently bang her
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
this hospital has no fireball
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
