Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
