i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
