Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize