Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You left your phone here
Wait...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
