if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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