You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
