Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
