I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize