What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
