so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
