How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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