yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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