Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
