At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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