Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
