That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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