Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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