I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize