so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize