Too much gin, very little bucket
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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