the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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