Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
