i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
