Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize