HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
