So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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