He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
