I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
