If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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