I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Randomize
