I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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