angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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