Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
