I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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