Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
