4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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