...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I would fuck him just for his dog
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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