If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
His hands were made for my vagina.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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