Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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