dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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