just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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