but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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