He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
As shirtless as possible
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
