he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
