Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
