I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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