His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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