she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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