they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
