she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
