So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
