I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
