So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
sex in a hospital.. check
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
