My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
